Today started like any other Monday morning, jogging then spending the rest of morning studying or doing whatever needed to be done.  One of my errands was to print a sample copy of a calcu LT at the comp lab, so I did just that. But, while there I ended up going on AIM to see if my brother was online. His SN was on so I iMed him. To my surprise someone else answered. It was my brother's friend Sean. It's the first time I've chatted with him but I've heard alot about him so it was nice to talk to him directly. He told me about how excited he is to meet me in April and visa versa. He asked me if my official date of arrival is April 6 and I said yeah, or maybe even before that. Then he asked me about school and how I was doing, etc. But after we finished chatting, I started to reflect on that simple conversation.

I realized SO much lies ahead of me. My future is still uncertain, with me not having a school yet and all, but I realized that that's okay. It's okay to be scared of the unknown. I'll be starting over again and leaving behind what I've come to know and love but everything will be all right. It'll be my THIRD chance to start anew. Not everyone has that opportunity to start over. This is my third chance and I dont want to waste it. Everything is infront of me and just within my grasp.It's my turn to really grab it and be in control.

Last time, when I moved here, I was given a second chance but it was never really in my control to begin with. My parents shadowed every decision that I made but not this time. This is all on me.

The choice to move back, is my decision and mine alone. No one can change my mind or do it for me. Even the date of leaving is up to me, which is, as of now, April 6. But I might change it to April 5 cause I will no longer wait for my transcripts. I'm just going to have them mailed to me.

Actually, I've been inquiring about transferring out of Ateneo, or better known as an Honorable Dismissal, and it made me see the reality of it all; That this is really happening.

Honestly, I keep thinking that I'll just wake up some day and find that this was all just a dream. The last few months, the last few years, everything; was just a dream. It just seems surreal. I can't believe what I've gone through and yet I'm still here. If you told me 4 years ago, when I was still in the 8th grade that this and this would happen, I'd proably laugh in your face. But damn, I just can't believe what I've done and been through. The experience of living in the Philippines and the people that I've met and known have changed me forever. I've learned so much and have come out a stronger person. I realized that I can do it on my own, and that I am capable of accomplishing what I set my mind and heart to.

I know I'm still young and have many things to learn. I know I'm still immature in many ways and I don't always know what's right. But, the important thing is that I can admit that and I accept it. I'll keep making mistakes and making the wrong choices but, I will also make some good choices and each of those choices will define who I am.

And regardless of my decisions in the past on whether it was good or bad doesn't matter cause I wouldn't take back any of them. Because at one time or another, that was what I wanted so there's no point of regretting it.

Each moment I have from now until I leave will proably be the most memorable to me. Before I left Cali I had some of the best moments in my life and they're the ones that are still fresh in my mind today. So from now and until I leave I have only three things to focus on;

Live.

Laugh. &

Love.

Because life isn't measured by the number of breaths we take...but by the moments that take our breath away..

~Mels =)

hahaha. this blog was also inspired by the song: "A Moment Like This" hahaha. LSS=))


A Moment like this.
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.
Some people search forever for that one special kiss.
I cant believe its happening to me.
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.

This IS the moment, and I'm here to live for it:D

Hi ppl!! LOng tym no see hehehe...well my laptop is still messed, da virus is gone bu my driver is missin @_@...so yeh...I'm at greenhills rite now at netopia=P n im on ym n aim bu no one is on -_-;...hmm lets see....Hmm tkd updates...umm in da comps dat i competed in this summer i got these places:  1)New Face of the Year: Gold  2)Batan QC: Bronze 3) National Poomse: 4th place(i made it to da finals bu didnt mak da top 3=P bu its alrite) 4)National All Women's Championships: Gold so yeh...oh n i got high blue!! =) so yeh tkd is goin so gud so far=D ..

Hmm...Skol starts in exactly one week*_*...Like U.P, Ateneo, n Claret hav alredi started n stuff so i gues im lucky mc hasnt started yet=P... But its so hard for me to believe that im gna be a Junior becuz around dis tym last year I was just graduatin from da 8th grade@_@ its relly scary...its lik i skipped 3 grades in one year!! Wooo....so yeh...Its hella weird cuz my friends bak in Cali are all freshmans, bu der on summer vaca now so der incomin Sophomores=D bu its still weird...N lik i have to start tinkin about college n shit bu gawd im still 14(bu my bday is in 12 days=P)... shudnt b worried about dis stuff for like another 2 years bu yeh...watever...da faster i graduate da faster i cud go bak to cali for college...or if not until i turn 18@_@...  So yeh...:Sighs:

On June 6th it was my One year aniversity since I got her in a P.I...It actually went by pretty quick, bu it wasnt easy =/...So yeh...Its weird, one year ago I cudnt imagine myself in the P.I n now im HERE...N im actually enjoyin it, as hard as that is for me to admit it.=/...In one year I had to start over from scratch...I had to Make new friends, get used to a new skol, a new environment, also i had to learn a new language, and just bascially start a new life...N it is a year later n i have accomplished all that i have written above...Its relly kinda scary... Bu although comin here was a gud experience for me, it was also one of the most difficult moments of my life. I never thought I cud endure dis type of life but I have...Bu at the beginning I relly thought i cudnt go on...It was so hard, n for the first time in my life i relly felt alone. I felt as if everyone had abandoned me and that no one cared...: Sighs: Bu now its a year later and I no longer feel dat way...Yes, I still feel alone at tyms bu now i  noe I can do this cuz I have alot of ppl's support and that makes me feel...Well, happy. So yeh...

Hehe sry if i was kinda dramatic der..It was my reflection of da past year hehe=P So yeh...dats all i have to say.

~Melanie